[book notes] Bessel van der Kolk - the body keeps the score

Here are just the notes I learned when I read this book. Sharing just in case I'd like to continue reading it again. It's a good try, I read it halfway through, but for now it's just me who is too stressed to finish this hwhwhwh.

Reading this book is really eye-opening in understanding the psychology and biology of how people suffer from different traumatic events; somehow I understand the symptoms shown by my autistic brother (self-harming, sensitive hearing, sleep deprivation, etc). Bukunya bagus dan mengedukasi, tapi also drains my energy lol, butuh fictional reading yang ringan to cleanse up.

• Author: Dutch MD psychiatrist from Boston Univ.

• Tells stories about his traumatic patients: PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, etc. He worked in wards/asylums (HMMC Harvard Medical Center). Controversy = digugat karena his research involving ethical violations (penyiksaan subject riset), dipecat dari induk research institution yang didirikannya di Boston (Trauma Center).

• Trauma: changes in brain circuits, neurotransmitter release = similar cell damage as found in cancer survivors, can be cured/palliated by drugs (antipsychotics). Traumatic people bisa semi-amnesia, ga inget kejadian traumatic sampai ada trigger yang terulang di masa depan = certain the brain region shuts down. 

• Neuroplasticity = neurons fire together, wire together = repeated stimuli create specific actions.

• Anatomy of trauma: prefrontal cortex (rational brain), limbic system (emotional brain), thalamus (chef of mixing sensory inputs), amygdala (smoke alarm sensing threats). 

• War veterans survivors: American young boy worked during the Vietnam War setelah tua jadi veteran gamau diobati supaya hilang traumanya karena nganggep himself as a living memorial for his dead comrades. 1 soldier in war arena = 10 children have a war inside the house (abused by caretakers).

• College girl in Boston Univ: gamau makan seminggu, dipaksa dikasih obat suntikan, dikejar rame-rame sama perawat & dokter. After consultation, it was known that it isn't a curative approach; instead repeating/reliving trauma = gang rape (sexually abused). Some drugs can worsen the symptoms. 

• School teacher mom: ibu hamil 7 months di umur 27 y.o & nyetir bawa toddler lupa dipasangin safety belt terus car crash accident menewaskan her 2 kids = quit from work because trauma by hearing children's laugh, masih terasa jelas the details of the accident until she's 40 y.o.

• College girl live alone: neglected by mom, kidnapped & raped by a college boy, suicidal thoughts = habit cubitin diri sendiri sampai berdarah (prefer controllable physical pain than the emotional numbness & disconnection to her body).

• Mid-30s female fanatic to tennis & relationship problem (often attacking boyfriend out of control during midnight karena ga sengaja kesentuh kakinya pas tidur): relieving numbness because of incest history. Ada lupus blurry vision in her eyes juga karena ratio CD45 RA/RO > orang normal = oversensitive immune cells due to hyper threat exposure. CD45: transmembrane glycoprotein marker of cellular immune signaling, naive/activated T cells.

• Therapy (brain scanning fMRI/PET): knowing past-present-future, stay grounded, live in the present, the event had ended in the past (the trauma has a finite time span, don't attach our mind to the traumatic event = damaging present & future lives). Mindfulness: knowing that nothing lasts forever. Discomfort = a chance to learn.

• Disorganized attachment: orang yang avoidant dengan sesama/ortu terbentuk dari pola asuh sejak kecil (neglected, too busy/caretaker especially mom who had trauma). Secure mother-baby relationship (in a wounded condition) = morphine production (painkiller).